Fire and Knowledge

Somewhere in the world, someone is doing something that you decided couldn’t be done.

—Seth Godin

In Chinese, Kentucky Fried Chicken’s slogan, “finger-lickin’ good,” came out as “eat your fingers off.”

Ford executives spent a long time scratching their heads trying to figure out why the Pinto was a complete flop in Brazil. Then someone told them that pinto was Brazilian slang for “tiny male genitals.”

And the folks at Gerber didn’t know that because of high illiteracy rates in some African countries, pictures on the outside of packages are always representative of what’s inside. No surprise, then, that customers were more than a little repelled by that cute baby on the baby food labels.

—Mark Breier, The 10-Second Internet Manager, p. 118

Making sure that every issue has an “owner” is an essential part of being an effective internet manager. So as you go through each item on your agenda, make sure the first issue you deal with is “Who owns this?” If a particular issue has an owner (and that’s the case most of the time), he or she is the one who handles it. If an issue is homeless, spend a minute or two figuring out who it should be, or simply appoint someone.

Getting the ownership issue out of the way early will help your meetings—and possibly your entire company—run more smoothly. Instead of wasting a lot of time on endless discussions you’ll be able to turn a particular issue over to one person who will then coordinate what to do with it.

—Mark Breier, The 10-Second Internet Manager, p. 84

If there’s a hell, it’s probably an infinite number of two-hour meetings, one right after the other.

—Mark Breier, The 10-Second Internet Manager, p. 84

I really like this:

I am a FCSL. This is a small manifesto.

As a Fiscal Conservative and Social Liberal, you dislike heavy government. What really gets you going, however, is government waste. You would like to see people responsible for failed government projects and massive cost overruns fired – and not just politicians. Forcing people to have a stake in the success of what they do is necessary for government as much as it is for free enterprise.

You recognize that all problems cannot be solved simply with the hammer of free enterprise. Some things like Health Care do not conform well to “for profit” models if they are to deliver assistance to all. You believe it is government’s job is to protect the people through regulations that prevent excessiveness by corporations abusing their positions of power to the detriment of the people.

You strongly hold that government should not have to raise taxes to adjust to economic hardships. To this end, you would like the civil service to budget itself like a business instead of like pigs at a trough.

Socially, you believe strongly in the separation of state and religion. You believe in equal rights, are pro-choice when there is a choice to be made, and you support the idea of social safety nets that maintain the stability of society. You disagree with prohibition when it doesn’t work and strongly feel that decisions should be made logically and on the basis of facts, not emotions or faith.

We are centrists and we really would like the political extremists to stop shouting over us.

—comment on “I’m a registered republican, but the majority of my party is insane“

Sometimes there are customers you wouldn’t want even if they paid you. As an example, I give you a recent email exchange I had. Signatures have been removed.

From: Joe
To: Me

What is my total cost as a licensed Real Estate Broker to list my own property as well as listings my Clients?

---

From: Me
T0: Joe

It’s $30/mo for unlimited listings, see [url redacted]

---

From: Joe
To: Me

Is that a $30.00 one-time fee, period, with never another fee?  I can’t find the fee schedule on the site.

Where is your company located?  How long have you been in business?  I’m very likely going to use the service, after I do my own due diligence.  What phone number can I call to talk to a live body if I need to.  Thanks again.

---

From: Me
To: Joe

It’s a monthly fee. The company is located in North Port, FL and we’ve been in business for 4 years. Support is email only.

---

From: Joe
To: Me

Wrong answer dude.  I didn’t ask for support.  I asked for a way to talk with someone who wants my money!  But them you knew that. Good thing I ‘outed you’ first.

You most likely suck idiots into giving you a credit card with an automatic draw – that’s kinda like getting AIDS – no fucking way to get rid of you.

---

From: Me
To: Joe

I’m glad you “outed me” too, as I’d rather not have customers like you. :)

Have a great day!

These kinds of customers can suck the life out of you. They’re more trouble than they are worth. I’m just glad he did his “due diligence” so I didn’t have to deal with him after he paid and would inevitably be disappointed. These people go through life spreading unhappiness, and I’d much rather do without them.

Contrary to popular belief, water is an awful choice [to try and land on when falling from a plane]. Like concrete, liquid doesn’t compress. Hitting the ocean is essentially the same as colliding with a sidewalk, Hamilton explains, except that pavement (perhaps unfortunately) won’t “open up and swallow your shattered body.”

—How to Fall 35,000 Feet—And Survive

The world you inhabit is the world you make. Your reputation precedes you, biasing the way new colleagues deal with you. Your first moves, friendly or hostile, tip the balance for future interactions. When you exhibit trust, you will most often find trustworthiness. When you are selfish, you will most often find selfishness. When you compete, others must resort to competition. If you choose to play the game strictly for your own advantage, your attempts at collaboration will indeed be, [as Thomas Hobbes said], “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”

—Rodd Wagner & Gale Muller, The Power of 2 (2009), p. 95