Fire and Knowledge

If I try to use human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what I want, to work better, to be more motivated, to live me and each other — while my character is fundamentally flawed, marked by duplicity and insincerity — then, in the long run, I cannot be successful. My duplicity will breed distrust, and everything I do — even using so-called good human relations techniques — will be perceived as manipulative.

It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success. Only basic goodness gives life to technique.

—Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, p. 21.

He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.

—Samuel Johnson

Two lovers sit on a bench eating ice cream.

Girl: “Did you just call me Kathy?”
Guy: “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to.”

But if money doesn’t do it for people, what does? What seems to be the most important factor in providing happiness is close social relations. People who are married, who have good friends, and who are close to their families are happier than those who are not.

—Barry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice (2004), p. 107

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

—Oscar Wilde

Apparently, the common pattern of people in any society is to have two important childhood friends, two significant adult friends, and two doctors. Typically, there are two powerful sexual partners who eclipse the others. Most commonly, you only fall in love once, and there is one member of your family whom you love above all others. The number of significant personal relationships is remarkably similar for everyone, regardless of their location, sophistication, or culture…. And once these slots are filled, they’re filled forever.

—Richard Koch, The 80/20 Principle: The Secret of Achieving More With Less (1998), p. 177

There is no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow-creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort.

–Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre (1847; Reader’s Digest, 1984), p. 220

Reconciliations are the cement of friendship; therefore friends should quarrel to strengthen their attachment, and offend each other for the pleasure of being reconciled.

–Maria Edgeworth (1768–1849), “The Noble Science of Self-Justification” in The Art of the Personal Essay by Phillip Lopate (1994), p. 153