If I try to use human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what I want, to work better, to be more motivated, to live me and each other — while my character is fundamentally flawed, marked by duplicity and insincerity — then, in the long run, I cannot be successful. My duplicity will breed distrust, and everything I do — even using so-called good human relations techniques — will be perceived as manipulative.

It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success. Only basic goodness gives life to technique.

—Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, p. 21.

He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.

—Samuel Johnson

Girl: “Did you just call me Kathy?”
Guy: “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to.”

But if money doesn’t do it for people, what does? What seems to be the most important factor in providing happiness is close social relations. People who are married, who have good friends, and who are close to their families are happier than those who are not.

—Barry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice (2004), p. 107

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

—Oscar Wilde

Apparently, the common pattern of people in any society is to have two important childhood friends, two significant adult friends, and two doctors. Typically, there are two powerful sexual partners who eclipse the others. Most commonly, you only fall in love once, and there is one member of your family whom you love above all others. The number of significant personal relationships is remarkably similar for everyone, regardless of their location, sophistication, or culture…. And once these slots are filled, they’re filled forever.

—Richard Koch, The 80/20 Principle: The Secret of Achieving More With Less (1998), p. 177

There is no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow-creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort.

–Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre (1847; Reader’s Digest, 1984), p. 220

Reconciliations are the cement of friendship; therefore friends should quarrel to strengthen their attachment, and offend each other for the pleasure of being reconciled.

–Maria Edgeworth (1768–1849), “The Noble Science of Self-Justification” in The Art of the Personal Essay by Phillip Lopate (1994), p. 153

We didn’t call it the kitchen in our house. We called it the Burns Unit.

“It’s a bit burned,” my mother would say apologetically at every meal, presenting you with a piece of meat that looked like something – a much-loved pet perhaps – salvaged from a tragic house fire. “But I think I scraped off most of the burned part,” she would add, overlooking that this included every bit of it that had once been flesh.

Happily, this all suited my father. His palate only responded to two tastes – burned and ice cream – so everything suited him so long as it was sufficiently dark and not too startlingly flavorful. Theirs truly was a marriage made in heaven, for no one could burn food like my mother or eat it like my dad.

–Bill Bryson, The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid: A Memoir (2006), p. 15

Then [old Lillian] introduced me to [her date,] the Navy guy. His name was Commander Blop or something. He was one of those guys that think they’re being a pansy if they don’t break around forty of your fingers when they shake hands with you.

–Holden Caulfield in J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye (1951), p. 113